Father Ted;

Ah, Father Ted. A hilarious show with Irish accents and poking fun at religion.


Pat Mustard: Ah, w-... you certainly wouldn't be advising the use of artificial contraception now, Father, would you?
Father Ted: Yes, I... well... if you're going to be... of course you will... JUST FECK OFF!

Father Ted: Come on, Dougal, switch the television off. Chewing gum for the eyes!
Father Dougal: No thanks, Ted!

Father Ted: Fascists dress in black and go around telling people what to do, whereas priests... more drink!

Father Dougal: I don't believe in organized religion.

Bishop Brennan: What would the following words suggest to you: "Jack", "sleepwalking" and "bollock naked"?

Father Dougal: It's like a big tide of jam coming toward us, but jam made out of old women.

Father Ted: There he is so. Risen from the dead. Like that fella... ET.

Mrs Doyle: Are you sure, Father? There's cocaine in it!
Father Ted: WHAT?
Mrs Doyle: Oh, no, not cocaine. God, what am I on about. No, what d'you call them. Raisins.

Father Ted: That's the great thing about Catholicism - it's very vague and no-one knows what it's really all about.

Father Dougal: Next you’re going to tell us you’re Santa.
Father Ted: No Dougal. I'm the opposite of Santa.
Father Dougal: The anti-Santa?

Father Ted: It's not as if everyone's going to go off and join some mad religious cult just because we go off for a picnic for a couple of hours.
Father Dougal: God, Ted, I heard about those cults. Everyone dressing in black and saying our Lord's gonna come back and judge us all!
Father Ted: No... No, Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism.

Mr. Fox: We could certainly trust you, father. You are, after all, a man of God.
Father Dougal: A what?

Dougal: And instead of a mouth, it has four arses!

Father Jack: Feck off, cup!


Once again, more to come... eventually.

Last edited on September 15, 2009 at 5:58 am.